So what is PCOS?

Above is the difference between a polycystic ovary and a normal ovary. Beautiful, huh? It is estimated that one in ten women have PCOS, and that over half of those women don't even know they have it.

Basically, PCOS affects and is affected by several hormones. Insulin, androgen, and progesterone are three of the main things affected by the condition. My body creates too much insulin (I have insulin resistance), and my body produces too much androgen.

Here are some symptoms of PCOS (this doesn't mean you have it, but if you have several, it could be a good idea to get checked):

Not all women with PCOS share the same symptoms. These are some of the symptoms of PCOS:
- infrequent menstrual periods, no menstrual periods, and/or irregular bleeding
- infertility (not able to get pregnant) because of not ovulating
-increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs, or toes—a condition called hirsutism (HER-suh-tiz-um)
-ovarian cysts
-acne, oily skin, or dandruff
-weight gain or obesity, usually carrying extra weight around the waist
-insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes
-high cholesterol
-high blood pressure
-male-pattern baldness or thinning hair
-patches of thickened and dark brown or black skin on the neck, arms, breasts, or thighs
-skin tags, or tiny excess flaps of skin in the armpits or neck area
-pelvic pain
-anxiety or depression due to appearance and/or infertility
-sleep apnea—excessive snoring and times when breathing stops while asleep


Those of you who know me know I have nearly every symptom listed above. (The list came from http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm#a).

Also, here are some of the risk factors for a woman with PCOS (also from the listed website):
- over 50% of women with PCOS will develop diabetes or pre-diabetes before they turn 40
- women with PCOS have a 4 to 7 times the chance of having a heart attack, vs. a woman without PCOS (and other cardiovascular disease)
- high blood pressure
- a chance of developing endometrial cancer

Just so everyone knows, here are the facts about PCOS:

• It is treatable, but not curable
• It is one of the leading causes of infertility in women
• It affects more than just reproduction.
• It has been around for 75 years, and doctors still do not know what causes it.
• If you are diagnosed with PCOS, it is likely that your mom or sister has it, as well.

PCOS is hard to understand, especially if you don't experience it or don't know much about it. Basically, my body is all out of whack all the time.

In order to get my body on track, I have to take Metformin (the highest dosage allowed, each day, for my insulin resistance), multi-vitamins to help my body stay healthy, plus a pill for the weird symptoms (Spirononlactone), and an anxiety pill to help with my nerves and depression.

So, hopefully you understand now why it is important that everyone knows about this condition. It is important for everyone to know what is going on and how women are affected by it.

Today is the day...

Today is the day that I stop and say: I'm ready to move on. I have been living in the past with this PCOS junk; I don't want to do this anymore. I am hurting myself. I am constantly hurting my family and friends because I'm not myself anymore. I am giving myself more problems and more pain than is necessary. Why? For what reason? Who would do such a thing?

My heart aches every day because I can't have the one thing I want: a family of my own. I can't be a mommy, something I want so desperately. I can't have a child of my own right now, and I can't even afford to adopt a child. I can only spend time with other people's children, which at times, breaks my heart even more, because they have something I want. I don't say this to try to be or sound selfish; I'm not trying to be. I just know that being a mother is something that I want to do, and something I think I'll be good at. Please don't get me wrong or misunderstand what I'm saying.

However, it isn't in the cards for me right now, apparantly. I am going to have to accept that fact and move on with it. This new blog is about my PCOS journey, my rantings and ravings, my successes and failures, my painful moments, and my exciting new events. I am going to try from here; I felt like I already ruined the year because January did not turn out the way I wanted it to. I guess I can't give up just because of a few set backs. I am rescheduling doctor appointments, getting back on my medicines, and starting my diet and exercise anew, especially since I am done with basketball season after Friday (the 1st). My husband is offering to help out at home more and cooks on school nights (Mondays and Wednesdays), so hopefully, that will help me stay on some sort of schedule.

This blog is not for anyone to ridicule me, judge me, love me, hate me, admire me, or idolize me. This blog is more for ME. I need a place to write, and since handwriting takes so much stinkin' time, I opt to type instead of write. I will write periodically, especially when I can't get to the computer, but most of my journal entries will be here in this blog. I do not want you to be critical of me; I only ask you to think of me, pray for me, and support me, even if you do not understand. I don't expect understanding, and I don't expect you to always agree with me. If you are my friend, you will look out for me and hold my hand and just be there for me. That's all that I truly ask of you.

So here's to my journey. It is going to be a long, hard, bumpy, curvy road, but I think I'm ready for it. Bring it on!

Here's to new beginnings....